1986
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Junior
Sam is on the phone, saying, "Y-y-yes sir, yes." He's obviously nervous as he listens to someone tell him about something that's happening "tonight." "He's on his way, huh? (Oh, boy, tumbling tuna fish). Y-yes sir. Oh, I'll make sure. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Goodbye now." Sam hangs up the phone. "Oh, boy, I'd better let Jeff know right away."
Upstairs in the children's department, Jeff, Mrs. Pennypacker and Muffy are setting up a new display, a large blue box with a sign that says, "Give a Gift." While Jeff goes to answer the telephone, Jodie explains what it's for. It's done in all sorts of stores, and the idea is that when people buy a toy or a game for themselves, they'll also buy another one and put it in the "Give a Gift" box. Later, the toys and games will be given to various groups that help the needy.
Jeff comes back to tell the others that it's the store owner's nephew's birthday and for his gift, the store owner says he can have anything he wants. Jodie hopes he'll donate a present for the Give a Gift box. Everyone is upbeat and looking forward to welcoming their visitor.
Outside the store, a very fancy convertible drives up. The chauffeur (played by Kevin Kerridge), gets out and opens up the passenger door for a young man in short pants and a baseball cap (played by Bill Carson). Shivering and hugging a stuffed skunk, the young man says, "Just wait here, Jenkins, I won't be long!"
He makes his way through the front door and Sam welcomes him to the store. When the young man finds out he's the security guard, he tells him, "Make sure nothing happens to 'Sweetums' while I'm here," and hands over the skunk. "Which way to the toy department?" he asks. Sam tells him it's on the third floor and offers to lead the way, but the boy rushes ahead. Before he disappears from view, he complains about the cold and demands that Sam turn up the heat.
Once they're in the toy department, the store owner's nephew tells everyone they can call him "Junior." Sam introduces him to Mrs. Pennypacker and explains that she looks after the boxes in the stockroom.
"A pleasure, young man," says Mrs. Pennypacker warmly.
"You look more like a bag lady than a box lady!" sneers Junior, giving a horrible, snorting laugh right in Jeff's face.
Sam soldiers on, introducing Jeff. Junior instructs Jeff to help Mrs. Pennypacker get some boxes for all the toys he's going to get. When Jodie comes in, Sam tells him she's responsible for the displays.
"Did you do this 'Give a Gift' display?"
"Yes I did, do you like it?"
"I hate it! If it were up to me I'd rather take the gift." Snort snort snort snort.
Next Sam introduces Muffy, who by now is quite disgusted with Junior and has her hands on her hips. Junior is amazed to know that she can talk.
"Can you say 'Hello?'" Junior asks in a condescending tone.
Muffy sticks out her paw. "Pleased to meet you is how I'd greet you!"
Junior loves this and does her the honor of introducing her to "Sweetums." He holds Sweetums to his ear. "Sweetums says he likes you," he tells Muffy. Then he turns to Jodie and orders her to show him around. "It's gift picking time! Wanna see more of you," he tells Muffy. Then he hands his stuffed skunk to Sam again. "And don't forget the heat!" he snaps.
By now everyone is thoroughly annoyed. Jeff is downstairs and he rages to himself as he collects things for Junior, singing, "No it doesn't seem right that Junior gets what he pleases! No it doesn't seem right that he gets all he wants in the store. No it doesn't seem right that Junior wins and 'Give a Gift' loses. No it doesn't seem, doesn't seem, doesn't seem, doesn't seem, doesn't seem to be right tonight . . . Junior doesn't need all the things he's taking, well, he's got plenty of toys. Why is he so greedy, when he could help the needy? Someone oughta tell him that he should be more thoughtful that he could be a much nicer boy!"
Sitting in his computer room, Sam isn't much happier. He stares at Sweetums. "How did I ever get roped into this?" He asks himself. He pushes some buttons, looking for a closet in which to store Sweetums. The first closet is full, and when he tries to open the next one, a big sandwich comes out of his side slot.
"Ha! There you are!" says Sam, "I've been looking for you for over a week. All right! I'll finish with you later!" Then he turns his attention back to Sweetums. "Oh, boy. How did I ever get into this. Five years of service and I'm lookin' after a stuffed skunk. What'll I get after ten years of service? Probably be lookin' after a brass porcupine or something!"
In the meantime, Jodie is struggling with armloads of stuffed toys while Junior lifts nary a finger to help. "I would never touch any of these toys until they've been disinfected. Just think of all the germs which must be on them!"
"Can you think of anything else you'd like?" Jodie says in an irritated tone.
"I don't know, this box has given me an idea," Junior says, looking at the "Give a Gift" display.
Jodie smiles broadly, "You're going to put some toys in it!"
"Don't be ridiculous! I was hoping there might be a toy I could take out of it!" Jodie stares at him. "Guess not," he says.
Muffy is shocked at this behavior. "You've got one of every toy that we have in the store, I find it hard to think that you still want something more!"
"Well, actually, Muffy there is one more thing that I don't have yet that I'd like to take with me."
"Oh, I can't see what it could be."
"Neither can I," says Jodie. "What haven't you already got?"
"Muffy." says Junior.
Muffy gasps. "Excuse me if I'm looking pale. You ought to know I'm not for sale!"
"That's right! Muffy lives here, this is her home. She's not part of the merchandise," says Jodie.
Junior insists that since his uncle told him he could have anything he wants in the store, and Muffy's in the store, that he wants her!
"Well, just because you want her doesn't mean you can have her!" says Jodie.
"Oh, yes it does," insists Junior. He begins to sing, "I get what I want, nothing stands in my way, I get what I want, and I never pay. When I see a toy I want, I just start to whine. 'I want it, I want it!' is all I say and it is always mine . . . I get what I want, and tonight it's true that this song is just to say, Muffy, I want you!"
And if anyone tries to stop him from taking Muffy, he'll just tell his uncle. Now, he tells Muffy, he's going to collect some cakes and cookies to take with them. He tells her she can have whatever she wants, except Scottish shortbread.
It seems Junior once had a Scottish nanny who thought he should do something around the house to earn his allowance. "It still makes me shudder!" he says. Thereafter, Scottish things have always made him feel faint and dizzy. After he leaves, Jodie and Muffy are amazed that he hates Scottish things, since they love them, but it gives Jodie an idea as to how they can get out of this predicament.
Sam, unaware of what's going on upstairs, is munching on his long, lost sandwich. "Dee-licious," he tells TXL. "Aged." He looks at Sweetums. "Would um, would you like a bite?" he asks with a chuckle.
Jodie appears on TXL's screen and asks Sam to help her with a plan. "And bring the beard that you wear as Cam the Detective. And hurry, please!"
Sam says, "Here, Sweetums, you watch the sandwich!" and begins tossing things around looking for the beard.
A bit later, he is in the children's department, hiding behind the counter, trying to put the beard on Muffy. Jeff is back there too. Soon Junior returns, eating a big, sticky caramel apple. He tells them he left the cookies with Jenkins. "Where's Muffy?"
"Oh, she'll be here any minute," Jodie says.
Junior says he'd offer Jodie some of his apple but, "Germs, you know."
Suddenly, bagpipes begin blaring and up from behind the counter pops Muffy, wearing the beard and playing the bagpipes, accompanied by Sam and Jeff. They're all dressed in Scottish clothes and Jeff is twirling and cavorting to the music.
Junior is horrified. He puts his hands on his ears. "Stop! Stop! What's all this? Who are you? Where did you come from?" he asks Muffy.
"Oh!" says Muffy in a decent Scots accent, "McGuffy McMouse is my name, twas from Scotland I came."
"From Scotland?" says Junior weakly. "I think I'm getting a temperature."
In a very exaggerated Scotch brogue, Jeff says, "Oh, tell 'im why you're herrrre McGuffy!"
"Well, I'm herrrrre," rolls Muffy, "because I'm one of the types that teaches the playin' of the pipes."
"A bagpipe teacher?" Junior asks.
"Ahai!" says Muffy. "I've a student in this house. Perhaps you know her, Muffy Mouse."
"Muffy's learning to play the bagpipes?" says Junior, horrified.
"Ahai!"
"Oh, she loves Scottish things," adds Jodie.
"Scottish things? I feel faint."
Sam pipes up with the worst accent of the three. He's wearing a big busby type hat. "She has a whole closet full of kilts!" he says emphatically, causing the busby to fall over his eyes.
"And cartons of tartans!" adds Muffy.
"Aye! And she adores Scottish shortbread!" says Jeff.
"Aye! Aye! And butterscotch sauce, too!" says Sam. Then he adds in a low voice to Jeff, "That's from Scotland isn't it?"
"I don't know, Sam." says Jeff.
"And she's mad for plaid!" Muffy chimes in.
Junior is relieved he found out before he took Muffy home. "I didn't know Muffy liked Scottish things!"
Muffy pads her part. "For her the bagpipes are a treasure, to play them isn't work, it's pl- pl- pleasure!" The itchiness of the beard has caused Muffy to sneeze out the word, and the beard flies off her face and sticks to Junior's caramel apple. Not noticing this, Muffy goes on. "Oh, I think that I can safely say she'd play the bagpipes every day. The sound will ring throughout her place as sure as this beard is on my . . . face!" When she reaches over to pat her beard, she realizes it's gone. "Oh-oh."
"Muffy is that you?"
"Yes, I am beneath this tam," says Muffy sheepishly.
Junior is delighted. "I just love playing disguises!" He urges her to hurry up and pack. "We're going to have such fun!" He gives the beard-covered apple to Sam and walks Muffy back to her place, talking about all his disguises.
They're defeated. Jodie and Jeff sigh deeply, but Sam is distracted by the candy apple. "Sharesies!" he says to Jeff, offering him part of what looks like a hunk of fur on a stick. Jeff refuses. Of course.
Jeff and Jodie decide to talk to Mrs. Pennypacker about their problem, and she tells them it reminds her of Sven Svenson.
"The explorer?" asks Jodie.
"Yes, I was with him on his first polar expedition."
"You went to the North Pole?"
"South Pole, Jeffrey." Mrs. Pennypacker corrects him. "Twice!" She tells them about the time a supply plane couldn't land because there were hundreds of penguins on the runway. She suggested to her companions that they run around flapping their arms and making seal noises since penguins are afraid of seals. It worked, and the penguins left.
Jeff says that isn't much help since Junior isn't a penguin and he isn't afraid of seals.
"Hey! But he is afraid of germs," says Jodie. She snaps her fingers. "Mrs. Pennypacker, you are a genius!" she exclaims, and she and Jeff rush off.
Meanwhile, Sam is warming up to Sweetums. "You cute little fuzzy wuzzy!" he says, and makes baby talk to it. "You know, TXL," he says. "I think he likes me."
"Mr. Crenshaw, I must remind you that Sweetums is merely fabric and stuffing."
"I know that, TXL, I was just, you know, pretending." He resumes his baby talk. He's interrupted by Jeff coming on screen to tell him they've got a new plan and they need his help.
"All right, we'll be right there," says Sam. "Come along you little fuzzy wuzzy," he says, tipping the skunk a bit and then catching him by the nose. "I gotcha, I got ya!"
Up in the children's department, Sam and Jeff are reluctant to play a trick on Junior, but Jodie thinks it's the only way. If they refuse to hand Muffy over, they'll lose their jobs. "And more importantly we have gotta save Muffy."
Then Junior comes in, looking for Muffy. Jodie says that she's taking her pills. When asked what she has, Jodie makes something up on the spot. "Uh, she has mouse fever."
Sam, also improvising, says, "Yeah, yeah, in fact we all have it!"
"You do? Is it contagious?" Junior asks.
"Uh, very contagious." says Jeff.
"What are the symptoms?" asks Junior.
Jeff jumps across the counter to explain in song. "Mouse fever, makes you itch, mouse fever, makes you twitch, mouse fever - You'd better run. You've got to believe mouse fever's no fun." Jodie and Sam join in, singing about a very improbable disease, making up symptoms as they go.
"Well I looked in the mirror, and whatdaya know, all of my whiskers had started to glow!" Sam sings.
"And you'll shake and you'll shiver,"
"You're wobbly and weak, and when you try to talk your voice goes SQUEAK!"
Jeff and Jodie each stand on one side of Junior and sing, "Mouse Fever!" Then they dip him, revealing Sam in the background, who sings, "It's in the air!" They raise him and sing again "Mouse Fever!" Then they dip him, "It's everywhere!" Sam sings. Then they finish, "Mouse fever, you'd better run, you've got to believe mouse fever's no fun."
Junior seems panicked. He can feel mouse fever symptoms coming on already. He rushes to grab Sweetums from Sam. Sam snatches him back, but Junior takes him and runs off, leaving the toys he picked behind because they might have mouse fever germs on them. A quick thinking Jodie asks if she can give them to "Give a Gift."
"Fine, whatever you like. Jenkins! Start the car!"
Muffy has been in her room all this time, saying goodbye to her home and getting ready to "live with Junior in his "mansion, adding to his toy expansion." She is startled to hear cheering coming from the children's department.
"Well, that's peculiar, I must say. They wouldn't cheer my going away. The only reason they would cheer, is if they know I'm staying here! Oh!" She rushes to see what's happening.
Jeff, Jodie and Sam are laughing, remembering their trick. "He couldn't get out of here fast enough!" Jeff says.
"Yeah, but it was nice of him to leave the toys." Jodie adds.
Muffy comes running in. "Hey! It looks like Junior's gone. Hey, tell me what's been going on?"
Jeff explains, "He thinks you have mouse fever, and he ran out of here before he could catch any germs."
"You mean I can stay? Oh, hip, hip, hooray!"
Sam begins to relate with relish how they tricked him. "And you know what I told him, Muffy? I told him my whiskers had started to glow!" But as they laugh, Junior comes back into the children's department. At first, only Jodie sees him. She tries to stop Sam from talking. "Can you imagine anyone believing -?" he continues.
"Sam, Sam!" cries Jodie.
"Yeah, just one second Jodie, I just wanna finish telling this story to Muffy."
Then Jeff sees him. "Sam! Sam!" he says, pointing.
"Yeah, I just wanna tell the story to Muffy, Jeff, and, what are you pointing at?"
"Over there," says Jeff.
Sam turns around and says, "Well, I can see that," but then he does a double take. "THUNDERING BUFFALOES!" He shouts right in Junior's face. "Uh - I can feel my whiskers starting to glow again."
'Mmmhmm, you look fine to me Sam. In fact, all of you look extremely healthy for people who are supposed to be suffering from 'mouse fever.'"
At first they hem and haw and make excuses, but finally Jodie decides to tell him the truth. "Junior, I guess we all owe you an apology. Well, we were playing a trick on you a few minutes ago. We're really all fine and so is Muffy. There is no such thing as mouse fever." She explains they made it up so that maybe then he'd let Muffy stay.
"I know." says Junior. "If anybody knows about fevers, it's me."
"Then why did you let Muffy stay?" asks Jeff.
"Because I could tell that she wanted to stay. And then I realized that if she stayed, I could come and visit every month!" Snort, snort. "Just think of the toys I'd get my uncle to give me then! I'll be happy, and Muffy will be happy, and that's what I want." Again he sings, "I get what I want, nothing stands in my way."
"He gets what he wants," the others sing,
"And in the store I'll stay!" Muffy sings happily.
"And in the store she'll stay!"
"To tell the truth, Sweetums and I thought we might even move in here with you!" Junior adds.
Everyone begins to hack and cough. This time, they're not pretending!
Quizzes:
- There are three boxes filled with toys. A small one, a medium one and a large one. Which box do you think Junior will take? (It's a trick question) He takes them all! An animated Jenkins drives in and the boxes all go on top of the car.
- "Uh-oh, Sam wasn't listening very carefully when Jodie asked him to bring something. Do you remember what it is?" (An illustration shows Sam pondering three head mannequins. One has a mustache, one a beard and the other has a toupee). When we guess the beard, it jumps onto Sam's face.
- In a picture of Sam and Muffy, apparently in the Scottish countryside, we have to find as many things as we can that rhyme with "tam," the name of the hat Muffy is wearing. (Lamb, ram, jam and Sam all rhyme with tam.) "If you found any of those - way to go!" (This quiz was tricky even for an adult).
Nursery Rhyme:
Notes:
- The sandwich that Sam finds after a week appears to be a perfectly normal deli sandwich, for once, instead of some vile concoction of jellybeans, sardines or liverwurst. Of course this is more than made up for by the fact that the sandwich is more than a week old!
- For some reason they felt the need to explain why Sam had a beard in his computer room, which was unnecessary since Sam has everything, including a shark and a rubber chicken, in there. Anyway the explanation didn't make sense, since Sam never wears a beard when he's playing Cam the Detective.
- If Junior wasn't fooled by the description of "Mouse Fever," I wonder why he left the toys behind for "Give a Gift?" In fact, why did he pretend to be fooled at all?
- Of all the things they tried, no one ever tried simply telling Junior that Muffy didn't want to leave and that she would be unhappy living with him. That made it more credible, at the end, that he would let her stay because she really wanted to.
- Though Bill Carson is an adult, I believe Junior was supposed to be a child, which was conveyed by his baseball cap and short pants. Confirming this, Jeff sang, "he could be a much nicer boy."
- Two puzzling comments. "It was nice of him to leave the toys," said Jodie. It was? He left them behind because they might be covered with germs, or so he said. Then from Jeff: "Then why did you let Muffy stay?" He asked this when Junior came back and before Junior made it clear he was going to let her stay.
- Why not let the trick work and rid them of Junior completely? I believe it was so that the children wouldn't think playing tricks on people is an acceptable way to solve problems.
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